My major accomplishment last Tuesday was getting my oldest child ready for school – it was one of those special days they have at schools now-a days. It was “Superhero Day” and she had chosen to be Catgirl. I had spent every day from Saturday through to Tuesday morning preparing for her so everything would be perfect (as perfect as I could make it and not the global standard of perfection) and once she was out the door and on her way to school, I sat down and picked up my phone to scroll through Pinterest & Instagram. That’s what I did most of the day since that moment (of course apart from the absolute basic amount of cooking needed to get our family of 5 fed).

I made some calls, I lazed in bed, I talked & played with my little two, I watched Netflix, I played games on my phone, I made my lists which I didn’t go back to check off, I took a nap. And all without that nagging guilt I usually feel when I am being unproductive.

It has taken me a while and a mountain of effort to get to this point. For years, these unproductive days have haunted me. “You’re wasting precious time!” being the standard taunt. My mind refuses to let me go that easy for the absence of proof of labour at the end of the day and I would end up tossing & turning in bed in addition dealing with that guilt and overcompensating the next day for that lack till I reach physical burnout through an emotional satisfaction of having achieved twice the amount of work within that proceeding day. And if it goes unachieved, the cycle will continue to the following day and so on until accomplished.

I don’t go out to work currently. I resigned to being to a full time stay at home mom since January of last year. I don’t actively earn an income. But there was a time when I did all of those things. And today, I spend every hour of every waking day (sleep time included – those who know me know) providing for my family in ways that I physically, mentally and emotionally can. And I am owed at least one day of rest at the end of my workweek, however that day of rest looks or on which day it falls. And I shouldn’t be feeling guilty about taking it.

As a parent, the global day of rest may not necessarily work for me. More often than not, that’s the toughest scheduled day with the entire family at home and their constant needs needing to be met immediately. So, sometimes a day off falls on any random day depending on how slow it looks.

It’s the same for a parent that goes outside to work. They may get the weekend off from work, but they don’t get the weekend off from parenting responsibilities and family duties. And that’s tough!

Though, I have noticed that it’s comparatively easier for a man to switch off than it is for a woman. I am still trying to figure out if that is a genetical thing or cultural. Like honestly, how do they do it? I personally feel that it is an attribute worth researching and developing, especially for women like me who find it so hard to do so, guilt-free, without the need to prove that we are worth it, that I have done enough to justify this time of rest that my body so rightfully needs.

Something that’s worth remembering during these times though is that we can’t be picky when an opportunity of rest comes our way (especially parents of little ones & pets). And we can’t be unreasonable with ourselves. Our bodies and our minds need those off days, those lazy couch days where we order in food, have the tv running in the background, a book or phone in our hand, our minds shut off, our eyes and/or fingers scrolling absently, so that we can reset for another day.

If you’re wondering that after all this ranting, am I implying that only people with families are entitled to these random lazy days? Na-ah. To me, the qualification for the entitlement of leave is as follows.

Do you breathe? Does your body and your mind work extremely hard to get you through each day just to get to another one, like clockwork? You deserve a day off. Whatever day that may be. However it may look to you. You need to show up for yourself and let you be. Leave the guilt of unproductiveness outside your door and just let go. It’s okay to do nothing sometimes.

Live and let live – applies for self too!

Love always,