How often do expectations get in the way of living –  of life itself, of understanding, of logic & reason, of happiness, of hope?

The most painful kind of expectation, in my personal experience, is the one that I carry about the people around me – how they should react, respond, behave, speak, exist. The disappointment that follows when those expectations aren’t met is, I know often unreasonable, but yet, deeply painful.

From when we are little, and as we grow, we learn to expect. Expectation is a form of hope cloaked in intent. If only we could remove that cloak, let it rest, and move forward with hope alone. But years of conditioning make that almost impossible, even when we know, intellectually, that this may be the road to happiness.

We learned to have expectations of ourselves. Somewhere along the way, having expectations of others becomes one of the expectations we place on ourselves. A subtle complicated loop, one that insists on being broken, and yet…

This past week was hard on me. Reflecting on it, what stood out most was the expectations I had for how I wanted the week to go. I hoped for good test results, but what I didn’t notice was that alongside that hope, I was expecting them to be good. When the results came back inconclusive, it shattered my hope.

I was expecting a certain kind of emotional & physical support – and when that wasn’t met, it shook my faith in family. I was expecting humanity, given my situation – and when someone chose unkindness instead, it shattered my view of humanity itself.

If all I had carried was hope, and not expectation, the pain that followed may have been gentler, less heart shattering.

This awareness has helped me see that we can work toward breaking the stronghold of expectation – by noticing it. Softening it. Meeting our disappointments with compassion. And perhaps little by little, learning to loosening its grip – not all at once but enough to breathe.

Because maybe happiness isn’t about having no expectations at all – but about noticing them sooner, and choosing hope anyway.

At the end of the day, people will be who they are. Everyone carries expectations of themselves and of others. Every childhood holds its own story. Every adult walks around with invisible baggage. And peace begins when we actively notice this – and let it be enough.

When we release expectations, we don’t lose standards.

We gain freedom!