I’ve always despised writing when I was hurting or angry.

Sometimes, I’ve given in to the urge and written anyway, but I choose to never read what I wrote or even look in that direction again. When I remember or think of what I wrote in those emotional moments, it disgusts me that I could have felt that way.

For someone who refuses to see a difference between one person and another, humanity can sometimes make it difficult to “human.” Of course, I’m not claiming to be perfect—I have my own biases. My excuse for that is simple: I am only human.

I also sometimes come off as self-righteous and friends have in the past hated me for it. But here’s the thing – I’m not. I am not a self-proclaimed saint. In fact, I think I am far from perfect. I struggle with my emotions. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY!

And when I feel emotions that aren’t considered healthy or happy or helpful or kind, I begin to hate myself a little more.

Why do I feel these angry emotions sometimes? Why do I sometimes feel hate? Why do I hurt to a point of physical pain?

If I am capable of love, compassion, excitement and joy, how do these “filthy” emotions reside right alongside them? And why do they show their faces when I least expect it to happen?

For years I have fought this – feeling this way and dealing with these emotions like they shouldn’t be.

And now, we’re in a time of inclusivity, of validation. We know that anger is also an emotion that has a right to be. Not just because that’s what the mental health industry says, but because we have come to understand that unless we give the emotion that space & time to express itself, we cannot move forward from it.

I’ve realized that the longer I hate on myself for feeling this way, the longer it takes me to move on from it. Hating on it does not make me feel better or quicken the process. The sooner I try to understand why those feelings are there, and acknowledge the reason for its being, I’m able to let it go.

Every part of us is worthy of love – even the parts we consider hateful. Why was it decided that these emotions didn’t deserve to belong in the past? Was it because of the discomfort feeling them brings?

To deny any part of ourselves, whether it’s anger, sadness, or frustration, is to deny the humanity that is us. We’ve been conditioned to label emotions as ‘good’ or ‘bad,’ but in truth, they’re neither. They are only a means of communication, each one asking us to look deeper, to understand what’s truly going on inside. Maybe that’s why we’re so uncomfortable with them—because they force us to confront parts of ourselves, we’d rather ignore. By embracing them, by allowing them space, we reclaim our full humanity.

So, the next time you feel anger or pain, don’t push it away. Sit with it. Ask it what it’s trying to tell you. The process isn’t easy, but it’s worth it. Every emotion has a place. Every part of you deserves to be understood, even the messy parts. It’s in that understanding, in that discomfort, that we find clarity and move closer to our true selves.

Self-compassion is a practice we often forget in the face of negative emotions. We’re quick to forgive others but struggle to extend that same kindness to ourselves. The truth is, we can’t move forward without first being gentle with ourselves. If we can embrace our flaws, forgive ourselves for our moments of weakness, we create space for real healing. In this, we grow not just as individuals but as human beings trying to navigate the messiness of life.

Loving yourself and learning to do that is a process – a lengthy, messy, complicated process – but one that’s worth the effort. Keep at it. Ask the difficult questions. Feel the discomfort. Grow closer to who you are and why you’re here.

Love always,