No matter the size, find a distraction!

Let me explain. The monotony of everyday living can lead to boredom, depression, anxiety or sometimes much worse. Having something to focus your attention on when you’ve got nothing else going for you or just too much can sometimes even be a life saver.

On some occasions, the means we use to distract ourselves can become what causes us undue stress. We get so deep into it that everything else starts to lose colour. When this happens, have a backup plan to distract yourself from your distraction. What can you possibly do to keep yourself from going back to that addictive scrolling that’s actually causing you to rethink life, and not in a good way? Or an innocent binge-watch that extends to a few weeks or months, and you can’t seem to stop? I’ve thought of a few things that have helped me during these times.

We can maybe…

Try something new!

Personally, the prospect of trying something I never have before gives me enough anticipatory excitement to let go of the task at hand.

Have you been dying to try something out – a food, a hobby, a place, an activity? Do it. Let go of your current distraction and try the new one in its stead.

Explore ideas. If you don’t have a hobby clearly defined for you, try different things that seem interesting, till you find the one thing that clicks.

You may say, “But I don’t have the time for any of this!” Trust me, I’ve been there. And looking back I realise; I did have the time. I just lacked the discipline or the energy to push myself to do anything about it.

You can even watch cat videos – if that’s what works for you.

Today, when I make time to do something that I enjoy doing, I hear comments like, “Where do you find the time to do this in between all the chaos that you live in with three kids and a cat, and don’t forget a husband, and a home that constantly needs fixing (thanks to all the before mentioned.)” or even, “Maybe you have too much time on your hands unlike the rest of us.” And more.

All of them are true in some ways. But you can find something that works for you in a way that works for you.

Travel

I don’t mean go online, book the earliest flight you can find and leave the country (unless you can afford to do it). Any form of travel will do.

If you’re the kind of person who needs to have a form of control over things, and you own a driver’s license and a car, take that car out for a spin. Without an agenda or an itinerary. Just drive around your home, drive to the nearest city, drive at the minimum required speed limit. You’ve got nowhere to be, so why hurry. I sometimes like to go for a lonely drive, with the music up loud, singing along with it or just thinking. I have conversations with myself, I use this time to pray or maybe even listen to something wholesome. Some days I choose to go for a drive with the family, or just one child or two. We talk, we sing, we laugh, we play word games.

If you don’t have these above-mentioned things, take a stroll. Step out of your home and walk. In any direction. Without purpose.

Ride your bike through the streets.

You get the idea.

Go out into nature – the beach, the trees, whatever you have around you or closest to you. Nature has a way of healing all wounds, even the ones you are unaware of.

Move – without purpose. And see how miraculous it feels.

Journal

Journaling has helped me during these times. I write down my struggles and how I want it to stop. I write down why I’m unhappy about the relationship I’ve developed with a distraction, and why I want it to change, how I want it to change and what I’d rather do instead. For someone like me, writing it down is always the first step. And then I start seeing the changes as I work through the process. It’s almost like a list, but with a few more words and less boxes to tick.

Get creative

Build something. You don’t need to have creativity in your blood to do this.

Choose an art form and try it out. Be messy about it or be impeccable about it, but just do it.

Try Legos, building blocks, puzzles, dance, painting, drawing, doodling, origami. Anything and all of it works.

Phone a friend

Pick up your phone and text a friend, call them if the two of you have a better chance of communicating that way. It’s sometimes easier to make a call, connect your headphones, and talk while making dinner than it is to type out a lengthy message or two. Or send a voice note. Share a meme or a reel. There are so many options these days.

Get out!

Get away from the noise, the chaos of everyday life anyway you can.

For young moms who can’t leave their young ones alone and go anywhere, step into a different room and try to block out the noise for a couple of minutes. Breathe!

I remember when my oldest was a few months in and I was still learning the whole process of motherhood and I mostly felt inadequate. There were times when I had no clue about why she was crying and how to be there for her. I was pushed into frustration to a point that I wanted to get out, but I knew that I couldn’t. Making sure she was safe, I would lock myself in the bathroom for a couple of minutes and focus on my breathing till ideas started surfacing in the place of uncontrolled noise. This exercise did not stop her from crying any less. If at all, it only got worse because the one person that she relied on to know everything, just abandoned her. But what did happen apart from that was that once I was out of that separate room and back with her, I had enough clarity to do what I needed to do to get her to calm down, to understand her need. Because mine was met first.

I learned a lesson there the first time I did that, which I have since worked on in little bursts over the course of the last few years. If we don’t take care of ourselves first, we will not have the emotional or physical space to care for another.

This does not make you selfish even though for some of us it may sound that way. Infact it is quite the opposite of selfish when you really think of it.

Focusing on self-care to a point of not caring about a single person other than self, now that is being selfish. If you can tell the difference between the two, you are on a beautiful path.

We all deserve a distraction, even from our distractions.

Life today is monotonous and unless we find a way to beat that monotony, we are walking a path of eventual regret, wishing for the “what if’s” that we walked past thinking we’d make time for them later.

Make time for them now! Today is worth it. You are worth it!

Is there something you’ve been meaning to do but have been putting off because you’ve been distracted? Do it now! Start working on it now. Distract yourself from your distractions. Find a way to focus on what is important, what feels like you, what reminds you of why you fell in love, in love with the world, with yourself, with everyone and everything around you. It’s safe to feel that way again. Even if you’ve been hurt before and it scares you.

You deserve to be able to feel that way again, for you!

Sending love, and wholesome energy your way, wherever you are.

Love always,