In 2020, when Covid hit, and restrictions were put in place, socializing was shut down, families were separated and we were all locked-in in our own homes, unsure of how long the situation would stay that way. We learned the true meaning of isolation.

It was felt on a global level. We understood what it meant to take time off (though forced) and slow down, the meaning of absence and how it felt to be isolated and shut away from the rest of the world and loved ones, in due course forgetting what it felt like to live a normal social life.

For some of us it did not stop with the lifting of restrictions. And for some, it didn’t start with Covid.

You would think that since this has happened and things have gone back to normal routine, and more socializing even because absence did make the heart grow fonder, that everyone would clearly understand depression and emotional frustration from the lack of a social life, that we would be more empathetic to those who live this way every waking day because they have no option.

And some people, me for instance, cannot help but wonder why it didn’t change the way humanity thinks. I mean such a drastic event in the course of our modern age; you’d think it would change something, that people would be more desperate to stay connected, right?

A lot of the socializing moved online with heightened states of anxiety coming in the way of meeting people for fear of acquiring a viral infection of some kind. And everything else became background noise.

Building a genuine connection has become so monotonously unnecessary.

From pleading to be heard to finding that soul connection, I’ve started feeling like a naive attention seeker. But that’s not who I am and that’s not what this is. Those couple or more years has changed me. And I know I’m not alone in this boat.

And yet, we fail to reach out to another to share that little bit of time that we all seem to be short of today – time to check in, a few minutes to sit down and have that laugh, that effort it takes to connect with someone who’s been a little lost lately. There’s just not enough time for all of it.

And yet again, I get time to think of me.

Self-love is the hype. What about loving another as yourself? I know I hold back, considering the path that I have been on and the burns that I have borne. But is that all it is?

I remember during a time of severe struggle; I was advised to hold on to my peace and endure. That there was a purpose for the journey I was on – to be able to give another from a place of understanding and empathy. That unless I lived it, I wouldn’t understand it. Some lessons require practical knowledge.

I have enjoyed my quantum of silence, but I now realize that I took for granted the social circle that I once held. And I am at that age where being alone isn’t all it’s made out to be.

I can date myself. I can take myself out and have that talk that I can’t with anyone else. “I can buy myself flowers” if I need to, in the words of Miley Cyrus. But I’d also like to have a light and fun chat with another, sharing occurrences from the daily monotony of life, joking and/or venting about our spouses & children and sometimes more, a reminder that we are not alone in our very specific journeys, and we don’t need to be.

I sometimes think I barely know how to hold a conversation anymore. I feel like I’m always giving a lecture. Guess being a mom to three kids that need a lot of explanation will do that to you. Now, because of it, I’m a parent, ALWAYS. How do I press the pause button and just be me for a little bit when I’m with other adults, when I’ve clearly lost practise?

How do I remember who I am again when I haven’t had the chance to be me for as long as I haven’t?

How do I remember compassion when making a connection harbours fear?

How do I come out of isolation and suddenly know how to be in the presence of so much noise?

Tell me how you do it! How did being locked away affect you and change you as person? Do you think the way you think has changed since?

A little curiously,

Love always,