When I was a little under 12 years of age, I was asked to create & maintain a journal as part of a holiday homework assignment. And that’s where my journaling journey began.

It started off with just writing daily happenings when I was little and then as I got older and progressed into my teenage years, the entries became more thoughtful or rather thought filled. I would write down things I didn’t think were appropriate enough to voice. I eventually began to filter out those too and only wrote what I thought appropriate in case the book fell into the wrong hands. I carried my journal with me everywhere, even to school. It became my best friend. But not a friend that I could trust enough to keep its mouth shut if push came to shove and so I had to be cautious.

Journaling for me took on many roles over the years.

I would read through my old journals when I ran out of books to read. And there were times I would rip out pages that displeased me, or I would colour over them with a black marker to hide what I’d written – things that I didn’t want to read again or even remember. 

Then when I was pregnant with my oldest, I would address all my entries to her and I would write as a mother, not just my feelings and emotions but I also thoughts and advises that I thought would help my little one growing up.

Through all of those entries, I was strict with myself about never writing when I was angry. I refused to pen down words of anger or hate. The naive me believed that if I did not write down those feelings, it did not make them real or valid because of course feeling them was wrong to begin with, right? I believed that anger was an emotion that had no right to exist.

In time, I realized how wrong I was thinking that way. I slowly worked toward controlling that urge to remove or erase a page/entry that made me feel uncomfortable, and to also write when I was hurting or upset.

Journaling for me has evolved over the last year like it has never before.

I have learned that most times, those emotions or feelings that make you the most uncomfortable are the ones that help you grow. I have learned that every emotion has its place – including the anger & the hate. Feeling a little uncomfortable sometimes is okay because it only means you’re in new territory and you need to learn from it.

Today, my journals hold scribbles, doodles, heartfelt emotional expressions, art, stickers, and just about anything you can think of on a piece of paper, including tears.

Journaling has picked up so much popularity in the present day. It is the go-to tool for therapy. And I can guarantee first hand that it is an amazing tool.

When you open that book and sit down to write your thoughts, you meet with yourself over and over again. And there’s no better feeling than getting to know you, how your creator intended for you to know you. It is a form of meditation – one that you can come back to when you feel lost. Your words written down will stay when the thoughts have managed to move along.

To end my post today, I would like to share an excerpt from my journal entry dated December 14th last year – an entry that’s very personal to me and yet I want to show you how powerful the written word can be when you let your emotions guide you.

This entry was one I made when I was feeling quite lost, and my inner self showed up for me on paper to let me know I am not alone and that I did not need to be lost for long.

“I believe that I know myself more today than I did on the day I started this journey. I know myself better. I love myself better.

I understand who I am and what I want, and I think this person that I am today is beautiful, sometimes even more so than I used to be.

I acknowledge the setbacks – they make me human. My flaws enhance the beauty of my person.

My teeth may not be perfect, my cheeks may not be dimpled, but I am exactly what my God created me to be. And in His eyes, I am a work of art, which I undoubtedly am.

I refuse to break myself anymore for anyone who isn’t deserving of it. And I refuse to feel guilt beyond which is normal in those situations.

There will be days I may still be unable to look in the mirror but, on those days, I will treat myself with the compassion I deserve to be able to move forward from it.

I will listen to hateful comments and statements because my ears don’t have filters, but I won’t let those words create a nest in my heart. I will recognize them for what they are – unkindness from an unkind heart or an unkind moment. And I will only give them the importance any unkind thing deserves. I will let it pass me by and reinforce the person that I am and why receiving these words will take me away from being her.

I will do the same for others around me, to the best of “my capacity”, not more. Because I am enough!”

I take the opportunity to read this whenever I feel low and alone, and it helps lift my spirit. I remember that I am doing everything that I can do in any given situation, and that I am surviving the best way I know how.

The world is a rough place to be in and there are days when even surviving is hard. If you can take out a piece of paper and grab a pen, sit down and prompt yourself with a question that’s nagging you, believe me you will find the answer.

Love always,