Today, the island we’re on is completely covered in fog. School drop-off was not an easy feat this morning.

As I’m typing this, the fog is lifting. The sun is breaking through. I can vaguely see the streets below and the buildings around.

This got me thinking to last year when my mind was still quite clouded, and visibility was hard.

Since having my kids, I lived in a constant state of brain fog for a few years.

Just like how driving is hard in heavy fog where you can’t see what’s in front of you, so you know where to turn to avoid hitting something or someone, post-partum brain fog is almost as confusing and frustrating.

I went in to work for a year with that fog clouding my brain. I dealt with the confusion, the frustration, the disorientation, the self-deprecating emotions of it all during the time.

I was almost certain that I’d damaged all my brain cells, and this is who I am now. Till a very good friend of mine pulled me out of that thought process, guided me toward a hope that this fog would eventually lift, as I proceed to treat myself with compassion & patience till then.

I took her advice and I waited.

A year post baby, I started feeling like me again. I started remembering who I was. I started finding myself, the old me and a brand new and improved version of me too.

Eventually, the entire fog lifted. Thinking back to those days it feels like a dream that I woke up from – a dream where I was walking around in clouds. I sometimes wonder how I lived it, if I lived it – the noise of absolutely nothing, and everything that that nothing entailed.

I sometimes also wonder if I hadn’t had that someone to direct me with hope, to show me love, and guide me to hold on, where might I be today?

This month of December, the last month of the year, I want to be that friend, that guiding voice directing myself and anyone who is reading this to go in with hope for clarity, with patience for a brighter future, with compassion for all those who need it (including our own selves).

The world is in a hard place right now, one filled with hate and anger and hope does not feel like a real word anymore due to it.

But I know that the sun will shine through one day, the fog will lift, and we will remember that we are all in fact one. I patiently wait for that day, and so should you!

Love always,