This what I hit my daughter with…yes, you read right, I whacked her with a bag of buns!

Here’s how it happened. I was finishing up with packing lunches this morning and was in the process of putting away the bread. I had tied up the bag when I remembered something and called out to my oldest child. Every time I called her name though, it barely reached her. My middle one had her hand in the box of sketch pens and was making such a racket. I looked at her then and tried to get her attention, and this was what I saw – a huge grin on her face as she continued trying to annoy her older sister. She couldn’t hear me either.

I had read recently that when you need to get your child’s attention and they seem to be preoccupied in something else, you quietly and softly tap them somewhere along their hand. That’s not what I did.

I marched up to my 4-year-old and hit her with the bag of buns I’d been holding in my hand. That got her attention pretty much! That got everyone’s attention in the room.

She was too stunned to react. The bag split open, and all the buns fell out around her, onto the floor. And she was just standing there in shock or awe looking at the tumbling buns.

In my mind, it all played out in slow motion, comedically so.

Sometimes, the noises around you make it hard to listen to the voice that guides you to do the right thing. It’s hard to hear your own voice, let alone the voice of reason.

My daughter and I were both lucky this time that the buns were fresh, hence soft & harmless. (And of course, I’d thought of that before I did what I did. If I’d had a plate in my hand instead, I’m sure I would have kept it down before I marched to her and tried to get ger attention). But there are times when we don’t really think about what we’re doing before we do it, especially when guided by impulse.

There are times when the anger gets the best of us. There are times when the noise gets too loud, and we’d do anything to make it stop.

Let me get this straight, hitting is not a solution to anything – ever! Even a bag of buns however soft & fresh they are, is shocking to a child’s nerves.

I have always judged myself very strongly for the times I’ve gotten angry. Anger has always been an unacceptable emotion, when it came from me. I never stopped to question why it was there before.

Lately though, I’ve been guided to start asking myself why I am angry, to find the root of the reason which in turn has helped me understand its need and presence. This has helped me throw less tantrums than I used to, drastically less.

I’ve learned to look at my angry self with compassion, and empathy. And now, I anger less, I understand more.

I’ve learned that every feeling and emotion needs validation. Every individual feeling and emotion are a part of who we are. Invalidating its existence will not make it go away but instead make it louder for the attention it so rightly deserves or only needs. Once we listen to what that emotion has to say, why it’s important to the survival of our person, it will go away and be replaced by something much kinder.

And that’s what today’s post is about. Be kind to yourself. No matter how or what you feel, it does not have to be a bad seed.

Are you feeling envy or jealousy? Are you feeling hatred or anger? Don’t try to lock these feelings away and fight it every time it surfaces. Try to feel them instead and ask them why. Why here, why now? What are you trying to tell me? Why do I feel this way? And more often than not, it will be a survival instinct kicking in to protect your self.

Be kind to you, so you can be kind to everyone around you!